I like magazines.
I really do.
It’s a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure that used to be a wee bit out of control. Thankfully, not going back to work full time after baby motivated me to reign things in.
I do maintain one subscription to a fitness magazine. Staying up to date on current fitness trends is a rather important thing considering what I do for a living. I take mental notes on what’s hip and cool (kettlebells! yogalates! ballet core kickboxing fusion!), and gloss over the beauty and cooking sections. Actually, i usually applaud myself for being so unaffected by the overtly ‘contoured’ (magazine speak for we-airbrushed-the-crap-out-of-that-model) bodies and empty advice. I mean, I’m an evolved women. I don’t listen to that junk.
Until this month’s issue.
I was flipping through as usual when my fingers involuntarily paused on an article: Looks Guys Love (& Hate)
In honor of the month of love, the editors had posed questions on all the important female qualities – you know, hair, makeup, bangs – to a panel of men folk.
I snorted out loud. C’mon. What kind of insecure woman is going to listen to this crap? Just do whatever makes you feel good darn it! Who cares that boys don’t like fishtail braids? They have farting contests for goodness sake! Not exactly the final word on style.
Then this little segment halted my self-righteous tirade . .
See, I have very short hair. I wrote about my reasoning behind the big chop here. I am not delusional; I am very aware that the only similarity between Halle Berry’s face and mine is that we both have a face. But I have grown quite confident without my imposing wall of chestnut locks to shield me from the world. My hair – or lack thereof- is instrumental in helping me own who I am. In owning my self. And my hubby happens to love my hair no matter what I do to it (do not get me started on women who don’t cut their hair because their husband won’t let them. Ugggghhh.) I had no intention of changing anything just because some stupid men interviewed by a stupid magazine gave their stupid opinion.
In a completely unrelated coincidence, I decided to try growing it out a bit.
It’s been a few weeks since then and I feel a bit silly (and completely embarrassed) that i allowed myself to get so worked up about not being viewed as attractive by wordly standards. To add insult to injury, I now also have one of those horrible mullets that seem to magically manifest themselves the second you attempt to grow out a pixie cut. Ironically, the article had a side note claiming that “confidence trumps all”, which i found a bit bizarre considering they had just spent a handful of pages detailing how to dress, style your hair, and paint you nails in accordance with how to please someone else.
I have an appointment with my hairdresser next week. If i decide to keep on growing it, it’ll be for me.
But i’ll probably ask her to hack it off.