And So I’ve Been a Wuss

did you know the word wuss is actually in the dictionary?

i thought it was just slang.  but here it is.  in the honest-to-goodness Merriam-Webster:

wuss

definition of wuss: wimp

synonyms: softy (or softie), wimp, weakling (also wussy)

antonyms: powerhouse

i’m dropping this knowledge on you because i’ve been a bit of a wuss these last couple weeks.  you see,  i haven’t been writing.  anything.  and it’s not because my life is playing as tediously as the third hour of the bachelor finale (come on already).  on the contrary, it’s a bit of a milestone moment in my life.  i have major decisions to make, a life path to carve out, a new season to forge into.  exciting stuff right?  sure.

except that i am so incredibly curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-and-find-me-a-blankie freaked out.

here’s a fun fact about me: when i need to sort out my life, figure out what i think about the things i think about, i write.  when i want to ignore looming decisions, sidestep the tough call, i don’t write.  i bury myself in a vat of ice cream.  i read a LOT of fluffy fiction.  i stuff my hours with all sorts of nonsense (hello color coordinated underwear drawer).  but i don’t write.

so in summary: i’ve been a wuss.

did you notice the antonym to wuss above?  it’s powerhouse.  how awesome is that?  just hearing the word makes me want to do a flying kick (which i can do, thank you very much.  but not with my legs straight – i have tight hammies).

i realize it’s time for me to woman up and put on my big girl panties (if they still fit after all the ice cream).  it’s time to face life.  to make hard decisions and stick with them.  to come up for air from the cookie dough and breathe in the sweat and tears that i know are imminent.

so here i am.  writing.  because today i’m not going to be a wuss.  i’m going to be a powerhouse.

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