The Aftermath (aka My Dazed & Confused Cool Whip Pondering)

I had planned to work out today.  Nothing major.  Just lift some heavy stuff up and down.  I didn’t.  I grabbed a tub of frozen Cool Whip, some peanut butter chips, and chocolate sauce (dessert of of the desperate) and plunked onto the couch while Stacy and Clinton reminded me (yet again) that I really do need to invest in more fitted jackets.

It’s been a weird few days.  Weird.  Phenomenal.  If you’re reading this post, it’s probably because you caught an article I wrote for SheLoves Magazine entitled ‘A Love Letter to My Body’ (If you have not contributed your own yet, please do.  It is by far the most healing thing I have ever done).  I had never written for SheLoves Magazine before.  Heck, if you’ve noticed from this blog, I haven’t really written a whole lot of anything.  I love to write.  I need to write in order to process life.  But I’ve never really done it in this avenue.  But I wrote this one article, and it’s become a bit of a thing.  So many women have penned their own love letter and it’s resulted in a little movement of sorts.   I’ve wept reading these letters.  I’ve marveled at the courage diplayed by each fearless woman who hits ‘post’.  And I’ve laughed until I was weeping all over again.

But I’m not quite sure why God allowed me to write the first one.

I’m not  an exceptional writer. I don’t have a huge blog with throngs of subscribers.  I have no clout.  I could list a dozen candidates in the next five seconds that I think would have written something that far surpassed my elementary entry.

So why did He let me?

I have to admit, I have no idea right now.  I feel very humbled and honored to have been a part of something so beautiful.  But as my computer screen glows back at me today, I feel nervous.  Like I have something to prove.  As if I need to say something that is monumental.  Or poignant.  Or inspired, at the VERY least.

Here’s the thing.  My days consist of blowing bubbles at my most darling six month old babe.  Healthy eating sounds like a super idea, but as you can tell by the above mentioned Cool Whip, I’m a little all over the map.  Loving my body is a daily choice.  One that I don’t always make.  I believe Seinfeld is hands down better than Friends, that Glee would really make anyone happy, that no carb should be left behind, and  that Jesus loves me (and you).  I quote Pride and Prejudice daily and am known for making batches of cookie dough with no intention of it ever seeing the oven.  I’ve never felt more out of my element than I do as a parent.  And yet I’m shocked at how much all this bubble blowing is coloring in my previously black and white heart.  I am passionate about introducing women to their own gorgeousness, to abolishing fat-talk, and to pulling women off treadmills and giving them a dumbbell.

That’s where I’m at.  I don’t know exactly what God has for me in this life.  But I’m going to write it out.  And if you’re here, and you want to come along, that would be lovely.  If this isn’t monumental, or poignant, or inspired enough for you, that’s OK too.

Love to you today,

17 thoughts on “The Aftermath (aka My Dazed & Confused Cool Whip Pondering)

  1. Isn’t it neat when God takes our little bits and pieces and use them to touch others in a way we never could have imagined! I love that used feeling it gives me!

  2. As someone pondering if I have anything worth saying o. A blog, I get where you are coming from. But I have to say – just reading the few things you’ve written here – I can’t wait to hear more. I actually lit up when i noticed a new entry from you on my feed. For all us mamas out here consumed with fat talk and never being satisfied with our bodies and trying to make them better but sometimes (often) have a bowl of ice cream with our kids calling to us, keep doing what you are doing.

  3. Meg, yes, I am indeed here because of the beautiful piece you wrote for SheLovesMagazine. And I’m truly glad to be here! (warning…long comment ahead)

    I so relate to staring at the screen, feeling pressure. I’m relatively new to this whole blogging thing and I started it very reluctantly, but I started it nonetheless because I felt strongly that God wanted me to. And I have grown so much in this short 5 months of blogging. Way more than I ever expected to. I picture God chuckling at my wonderment. Of course I’m growing…that was his point, I’m sure.

    I love how God can do so much more than we can conceive. So many times I’ve felt a nudge to write about something and I’ve resisted, thinking, “That’s too obvious, no one will be touched by that.” Yet I eventually give in, write it, and those turn out to be the posts that everyone writes to me about, telling me how much they needed to hear that right now. So now I try to just write whatever’s on my heart and let God worry about whether or not anyone is touched by it.

    And speaking of touched, your Love Letter was one of those things that just hi-jacked my day and wouldn’t let me rest until I wrote my own. And what a powerful exercise it was that still has me thinking, days later. One woman wrote and told me that it was exactly what she needed to read that day and that she struggles with an eating disorder. How cool that God would use us to touch someone’s day in the exact right way?

    So, I will definitely be tuning in to hear what you have to say. I really love what you’re passionate about. I need to stop the “fat-talk” and I think maybe you will be just the encouragement I need to kick that habit. And by the way, I have to tell you, you are not a writer “of sorts” you are a Writer! and a damn good one!! (I edited out the “damn” but then I put it back in. Cuz it’s what I truly think and I’m trying to be real in all my writing. Just sayin.) Loved today’s post, I especially loved the phrase “coloring in my previously black and white heart.” Very cool! Thanks Meg!

    • Phew, I am emotional after reading that. Thank you Rebekah. I needed that way more than I can convey in prose. And please stay true to your writing- I appreciate the emphasis of the ‘damn’ as much as the next gal (and it made me laugh). I’m glad you’re here my dear. We’ll grow together!

      • Deal 🙂 I love to encourage women to say what God created them to say, whether it be through prose, song, art, whatever. So let’s encourage each other. And if you lived next door, I’d invite you over for coffee tomorrow. haha.

  4. I love this. As a girl who has chosen Creative Writing as my job avenue I still find myself sitting down at my computer or opening my composition book and thinking “what am I do? Who am I kidding?”
    I totally agree that the live letter to my body was deeply therapeutic and incredibly healing and I look forward to future posts written by you. I find encouragement and positivity in what you commented on standing for in this post.

    • Thank you Stephani. Love that you’re here. And you’re not kidding anyone. Move forward in your passion and things will fall into place (of course, never in your timing!).

  5. Oh Megan…this is PRECISELY why he used you. He uses the thing we have least pride in. I speak from experience friend, I ran a half-marathon last year. Me? And tons of women joined in. With Me?

    And I kept saying to God, why running?!!! Why me?

    And I think he uses our perceived weaknesses and all he wants us to do is: SHOW UP.

    I forget this often. I’m in a season where I need to reminded of this daily. I’m tender, insecure and anxious. I’m working on it. I’m working on loving my body. I’ve tried writing a letter about three times and stopped. My story is similar to Idelette’s in some ways and it’s bit an empty shack. It’s a work in progress.

    Side note: I woke up to a BB message from my man-boy saying, “Have you read today’s SLM post? It’s amazing!!!!”

    It was your post. And he is a dude. And he GOT IT. He GOT that I needed to hear *your* words.

    I’m not sure how you can love and be grateful for someone who you’ve never met or spoken to, but I love you sweet friend.

    Thank you!

    And what’s this business of pulling women of a treadmill and giving them a dumb bell? What the what? I thought cardio and weights need to go together… #notmyareaofspecialty 🙂

    • oh honey bunny . . yes they go together! you are very right! i just find most women overdo it on the cardio end of things and never touch the weights because they’re freaked out of the men grunting. in my case, i need to drop the dumbbell and get on the treadmill. but thank you for your words my friend. your writing has inspired me from the second you started at sheloves so a compliment from you is really quite something . . .not to mention your man-boy. i’m quite honored! and i know you’ll write an exquisite letter to your body, even if it’s just for you. it still counts. love you my dear and thankful you are in my life in the most wonderful and unconventional way!

  6. Your letter has started something wonderful, something I know I’ll keep with me forever. I hope to read more of your writings that happen in between bubble blowing soon! (And we totally have the same number of sweet teeth, 😉 )

  7. I’m here because of your SheLoves piece too. I can only imagine that there must be some self-induced pressure to “top yourself” – just remember that it was simply words on your heart in that letter, and you don’t need to do anything different.

    also, on a different note, as a fat lady who would love to make fat just a neutral adjective and not a value-judgment, I so appreciate that you as a trainer have a fat-talk free goal. I had a trainer that honored my “I’m here to get strong and build enurance and flexibility, not lose weight” request – but wasn’t “on board” with me..I’d love to have someone who was on the same page – so thank you for offering that to people!

    • I’m on board with you my dear. Aiming to get stronger, have more endurance, destress, or just be happy: these are all much more positive ways to approach fitness. It’s not a bad thing to want to get to a healthy weight, but it is all in how you go about getting there. And from my years in fitness, I’ve seen that self-deprecation and berating yourself really deter you from reaching your goals. LOVE your attitude. Thanks for being here!

  8. Megan,

    My favorite way for God to move is through the imperfection we harbor, hate, and try to rid ourselves of. He’s so good at that and it always makes me marvel. Your letter touched so many women because we all look at our sweet selves with a harsh eye – one we wouldn’t dare use on anyone else! I know writing mine has caused a chain reaction in my life already.

    I look forward to reading more and more of your writing, whenever it comes. I, too, spend a majority of my time with my kiddos, and have no clout. But I love to write, and I love Jesus and life and lots of crazy weird things about all of that. So we’ll all just carry on together, shall we? 🙂

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